How to Save a Life

Can't Sleep?
Can't Sleep?

"People can't, unhappily, invent their mooring posts, their lovers and their friends, anymore than they can invent their parents. Life gives these and also takes them away and the great difficulty is to say Yes to life."
James Baldwin (Giovanni's Room)

Read about our love for Hahe, disappointment in Sat1 and what Jemma really means.


Hey there!


Let me preclude this by wishing all of us a Happy Birthday!


Or, well, anniversary, since as Lied has informed me recently, we've cracked the 100,000 visitors hurdle with over 760,000 hits on the first of July. (No idea how many of these hits have gone out to certain Jemma Clips..;-) )

Sadly, dear 100,000th visitor, the counting system of the site doesn't work in a way, that it would be possible for us to say: ”It has been you! Congratulations!” so the trip to Germany with the stay in a five star hotel, STAG concert and meet and greet with the stars will sadly have to be canceled..


Now, I know that you will address money, now that we're dealing in numbers, and I'll just say it this once: Money is evil. I'm not a Communist, because I have read “Animal Farm”, but money makes people evil and greedy and think in numbers (*cough,cough*Sat1,*cough*).


So, no ads, and just in case anyone official is reading this, chewing on the copyright bit...let's state it officially: We're not making a cent out of this.


And no, not for fund raising either..evil,evil,evil..I'm telling you!


Ok, fine? Happy to have gotten that cleared up.


If you should live,in say, Canada, for example, and really,really want to spend some dinero on the good fight for HaHe, then..why don't you buy the soundtrack,DvD, and single..and if you have all of them them for your local high school's library?Gay and Lesbian center? Church choir?


Numbers, numbers..actually I did mean to talk to you about numbers today.


Now, a lot of you who go to the trouble of reading this blog have gone to even more trouble and written SAT1 an email expressing your sentiments.

I've been informed, that they have been nice enough to send you their standard letter without even bothering to translate it.

Well, we'd be a bad translation service if we wouldn't offer this service, right?


So this, by all probability is the mail that they have sent out:


~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Good Day,

thank you very much for your email and your reaction to SAT1's programming.


Sadly, the SAT1 viewer response to "Hand aufs Herz" has not lived up to our expectations and the story will find its end in its first season, which ends at the beginning of September. Another season is neither in the works or in the planning, not on our affiliated channels,either.


We gladly have attached the official statement of our channel, i.e. our programming director in the following:

"We are ending our daily show "Hand aufs Herz" after its first season at the beginning of September. Despite having given viewers plenty of time to find this wonderful show,and working relentlessly,with the whole production team on its format, the ratings have remained far underneath the channel's average..Even the great success,that "Hand aufs Herz" had online, couldn't compensate the difficulties in finding a viewing audience for TV.


For further understanding, we'd like to explain in more depth the why and the hows of making certain decisions in our programming.


We are a private, commercial business, that is set to reach the biggest amount of viewers as possible, to make money out of the sale of commercial time. A business model that has been employed in the same kind in all of the branches of the commercial industry and serves as the basis of the entire free market.


Therefore we have to take care that in our complete programming a commercial aspect will not be neglected. Contrary to the public networks, which solely finance themselves out of state fees and funds, we cannot afford running programs that hardly have a viewing response. Due to (the aforementioned) programming mandate, only the public networks are obliged to show programs for minorities.


If,there is a lack of viewers on our channel, we, as a rule, have to act quickly.


Due to this mechanism, it may be possible for new shows to end after only a short amount of screening-time, if they didn't find the audience we had hoped for. On the other hand it is not possible, for the same reason to finance a programming that consists of 24 hours of original shows. This explains the repeats during the night hours and the summer months, during which less TV is being consumed.


We hope,to have shown you, that it hasn't been in our interest, to aggravate or anger you, and that it is not borne out of bad intention if we cannot fulfill certain program wishes. We are certain, however, that with this background information, you will be able to get a better understanding of our programming decisions.


Kind regards,

Kai Schmidt

SAT.1 Zuschauerredaktion


Colour your life – now also on Twitter!

Become a Follower - SAT.1 tweets here


~ ~ ~ ~ ~


So, now let's do a vote by numbers,shall we?

Who is outraged?


And who isn't? It's a business, capitalism, yada, yada?


Who doesn't know what to be making of this?



Now, since I'm the one writing this(Yay!), let me tell you what I'm thinking.


From coming home to a love story, that has made me fall along, bit by bit, to meeting a gazillion lovable fans, many of whom I now call friends, in a forum,to hosting a crazily work intensive website, and then kind of tapping into a worldwide web of gratitude, helpfulness, and dedication...


This has become one of the most important things that  I have ever done.




Because I think that “Hand aufs Herz” isn't just a show that airs in its tiny, secluded German niche and enlightens a couple of German teenagers to be less homophobic and hateful.


There are so many of you from all over the world..some of you who keep writing to us about how awful life sometimes is, surprisingly many of these mails come from the US, btw, and for some of you, from other places..we just know how it can't be easy either..places, countries..where it's hard to live and to love openly, freely, or at all.


But it's not countries or the other people that are tricky, the places we live in, the people surrounding's us, inside..the self loathing, the striving to be normal, to want to fit in..and that is universal to almost all of us, no matter where we live.


It's a a lot of us have a lot of us are still that some fight again and again over and over and never loose and never win.

And now, there is this tiny, tiny German show, and it's featuring yet another coming out story..just that this time it's not about girl a falling in love with girl b..and “Oh my,just how will people react?”


But it's about Emma and Jenny falling and failing, and growing and's about love and desperation, and about not being able to help yourself who you love..and about saying yes to life.


And therein lies the rub, you see?


Last year, during the summer months, more than a dozen young people in the US committed suicide linked directly to their being gay or perceived as being gay, or afraid of being gay.


Official numbers.


Who knows what lays, silently, in the dark?


“Glee” went ballistic on their gay friendliness on their show!


#itgetsbetter campaigns arose out of every single imaginable corner..and I'm getting goosebumps just writing about it.All the love, all the desperation...all the sadness.


But this is not just about those who take their lives..but about those who are miserable living theirs as well..


For a life without love..without the possibility..or the hope of far is it from not living?


How much would it help you, to tell you, that I was a teenager in Florida, that I wasn't bullied, but that I simply couldn't find a word for who and what I was. For what was wrong with me? For the loneliness, for the absence of love that seemed to come to everyone so easily but me?

(Waves to Florida, guys I've gotten your mails, I just didn't know how to answer them!xoxo)


How much would it help you, if I'm writing to you now, that things do get better?




A little?


You wouldn't in your own world, believe me, for I am but one amongst many to you.


And living in gaytown in the center of Europe, might be just as far away as the moon to you.


It's the places inside.


Show, don't tell, my English teacher used to say..


Now, you see, I believe, and I believe this with all of my heart, that stories can change people's lives..


They can touch us, they can change us..they can save us.


It's how sometimes we need to see to believe things, to emotionally get into a story to realize, that we're not alone..that there's hope, when at times, all seems hopeless.


It's different for different people..I've had friends coming out a little later in life, needing stories to see themselves understand.


I had a love,who couldn't find her own story, and the us that we were was finally lost to fear.


It left me hopeless, too, without any faith in the world, anymore.


To me, the story of Jenny and Emma hasn't been about Coming Out, actually, but about being reminded about love.  I was heartbroken, for a long, long time. It was through this show,of all things, that I remembered what it is like to fall in love again, as I fell in love with Emma through Jenny's eyes, and with Jenny through Emma's.


Butterflies!Peanut Butter and Jelly!


Now, it would have been even better for me, to see,just to see, every day, that it's also possible to be happy together for a longer amount of time..but alas..


It's different for all of us why we love the show, the way we do.


The “Hand aufs Herz” people achieved that, the art of telling and realizing a story in a way it genuinely touches people.. a small miracle.An artist's dream.


A small side story..and all anyone ever did, was put all of their heart into it.


The actresses,the writers the producers.


The one storyline in all of those out there that didn't disappoint.


A small flame.


And we noticed, and spread the news, and it ignited, the dry, hungry wood that we were,desperate to see our stories told.


And bang, SAT1 couldn't find a way to deal with its huge online audience and canceled it from one day to the other...a huge affront to the writers, the creators, the artists, investing these stories with life.


A huge affront to us who invested parts of ourselves.


Now, you remember the vote above?


Those who understand, those who don't, those who don't know what to think?


I meant to talk to you about numbers today.


We're not just numbers, those who watch this show..we're people.


Individual people.


Who in one way or another have been deeply touched.


Gay, straight, somewhere in between, we have been touched by the universal constant of love.


This is grand, this is one of the best and grandest things SAT1 has ever done!


To touch people, to create art,to give hope!


To maybe, save a life, or two.


Now, group A, I know that you're going to throw numbers back at me, ratings, but this is the third show that fails in this very time slot..and it has a huge online response, and it's simply lazy and unprofessional, if we must deal in numbers, not to make use of the massive amount of online viewers in a productive manner.(ITUNES!!!)


The next fail in this timeslot will certainly not be blessed with that particular number. Maybe it'll be less cost intensive..but that's it.


And now, group B, I'm a simple person, who has watched a few too many movies, as a kid..I believe in right and wrong..and to cancel a miracle for numbers is just wrong in my book.


Because sometimes it's just important to do the right thing, you know?


And this, this is important.


And I am just so, so sick and tired of people being treated like numbers...of this whole McKinsey mentality that tells us,that it's alright to be doing just that.


Because it's not.


Now, dear group C, I'm not telling you what to think..I'm not telling SAT1 the choice they're supposed to be making.


There is a right choice, and a wrong choice and the numbers choice.


But there is a choice.


That's all I'm saying..and sometimes it takes a little courage and craziness and unconventionality to be doing the right thing.


But even if all efforts fail, the dark side prevails;-) I am so glad, that at least for a little while, it has been granted to me, to have made the acquaintance of so many of you, to have worked with such sweet people and to have been part of something bigger, grander. Making the world a bit smaller, and a lot bigger at the same time.


It has been a joy and a pleasure.


Let's rock on for two more months together!






Kommentar schreiben

Kommentare: 12
  • #1

    Carol Berry (Sonntag, 10 Juli 2011 23:26)

    This show, with this side story of Jemma, has become the most important TV show in my whole life. It has shown people how to dream for a better life, how to face themselves and allow themselves to feel and not bottle up potential explosions. It was very hard work for me to come out, almost everyone I knew who was out had to have therapy to help them learn how manage in a hostile world, when they were risking losing their jobs and important family relations as they came out. Having gay issues on tv show reduces the need for such extensive help, but much more importantly, having the combination of writers and actresses that the Jemma story has gives hope for a much better world tomorrow because it lets

  • #2

    Carol Berry (Sonntag, 10 Juli 2011 23:33)

    To continue (my iPhone just decided I was finished)...
    The Jemma story is important because it let's people see that dreams do come true.

  • #3

    Jules (Sonntag, 10 Juli 2011 23:34)

    Goose bumps, amidola. Goose bumps. Well done.

  • #4

    ecosse (Sonntag, 10 Juli 2011 23:55)

    Can't believe there are no comments on this! It's great! I think you said everything I was thinking. HaH HAS made a difference and will continue to make a difference. It's just a shame that the people who pay for these shows don't see their real value or understand their importance in making the world a slightly nicer place and in making the world feel safer and more welcoming for some people who really, REALLY need to know that the world's not as bad as it seems. My job involves teaching others and sending them out into the big, bad world as good people. I wish I could package up HaH, this website and the beautiful international community that has been created and show them that this is what being a good human being's about. It costs you NOTHING to be nice, supportive and accepting of others. Life is meant to be joyful so don't waste your short time here dragging others down but sing, dance, dress like a giraffe and be yourself. That's the message here and it's an important one. I understand viewing figures are important but perhaps more effort needs to be made to connect with your audience instead of hoping the will "find" you. (Hat tip to Sat1 for trying to do this by making clips/episodes available internationally. This was an outstanding first step. You truly are unique and much appreciated but don't stop could be the company that changes the game and makes a lasting difference in how we get our TV and what TV we choose to watch. I speak English but have watched episodes completely in German with no subtitles and loved every second because TV and non-verbal communication is international. Do you know how many German words I know? 2!! But I watched, and I learned and I'll watch again if you give me the chance. I don't need to know precisely what every word means as long as you're showing me a good story that's well-acted. HaH did this and did it well. I don't watch UK soaps, I'd rather spork myself in the eye but HaH you had me at "there's a body underneath the volleyball court" just like Los Hombres de Paco had me at "Povedilla's taken a bath in the uranium, he might die!" (seriously, if you haven't checked that one out go look it's outstanding). Anyway Sat1, my point is you'd've had me (a non-soap watcher) even sooner had word of you reached the UK earlier. I'll be keeping my eye on you in the future, Deustchland!

    One last thing, if money is the issue surely international advertising is worth something? I know a large number of international viewers who're dying for a Chocofresh! :)

    Cripes. This has been far wordier than I intended. Apologies. What I'm trying to say is...ami- excellent blog. Thank you jemmainternational for making me feel part of this beautiful thing and part of a community, thank you Sat1 for making it possible without having to sneak around or frantically search youtube for clips here and there and thank you to the other viewers whose humour, wit and love for the show have transcended every border, continent and not to mention language barrier. It's been a joy and I hope this isn't the end. Remember, dress like you're at a Pestalozzi costume party, sing like you're performing with STAG, dance like you've just eaten a pizza and are f*cking perfect and you're from London and you don't give a sh*t!

    High 5s from the UK! :)

  • #5

    aud33 (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 03:25)

    Greetings from the U.S. (North Carolina)! Thank you for everything you and the others involved in this project have done to make this show accessible to so many people. You are simply awesome!

  • #6

    Anns (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 05:57)

    I had a love once too that I lost for fear. That is why it is so important to see stories like this: That love is actually possible and if Emma can find her Jenny so can I and everybody else in this crazy world. Thank you for stating exactly how I feel on this blog post. You suck SAT 1! You guys rule! Ps. I kind of fell in love with Kasia during this process so HaH also showed me that it is possible to love again...:p

  • #7

    fofolle (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 10:14)

    woaw Ami! jedes Mal schreibst du etwas, ist es geil!!

    i also have goose bumps.

    with shows like HaH, it helped me accept my sexuality. i'm proud to be gay!!!!!!

    cheers everyone und LG aus der Schweiz!
    ps: see ya all on Friday ;-)

  • #8

    eyelesstrees (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 22:28)

    Wow ami that's stirring stuff!! Beautifully put too!

    It seems we've been thinking along similar lines! A few weeks ago someone posted a comment that we were taking all this too seriously. Part of me chuckled: yes, for grown ups we are a bit invested really! I decided not to respond but what I wanted to post was: ok then let's just let Jemma end in September and then we can continue to be represented by horrific stuff like 'The Killing of Sister George' and 'The Childrens Hour'!

    100,000 visitors to this site. 20,000 to the jennyandemmainternational site. Those figures don't include people who haven't visited either site because they don't need the translations. 100,000 plus people potentially paying 10/20 Euros each to watch on-line. That's 1 - 2 million Euros even before you add on-line advertising revenue. Even if HaH isn't getting 10% of viewers in its current slot what company doesn't want that amount of cash?!

    Thanks for all the hard work you have put in ami. It's a brilliant journey we are all on - the 100,000 plus of us!

    All the best everyone! Let's keep campaigning and raising Jemma's profile. You never know, while we are trying to persuade Sat1 to change their commercial decision to say 'no' we may interest another company enough to take a commercial decision to say 'yes'!!

  • #9

    cassie (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 22:36)

    well i just tried to type something slightly more in depth (i.e. personal)and my computer just deleted it out of nowhere. i'll take that as a sign and just say that i love what you guys do here and it's what i look forward to coming home to all day at work.

  • #10

    Andi (Montag, 11 Juli 2011 22:59)

    I can't help but think about only one thing at times like these: "Everything happens for a reason." It is almost my philosophy, but this time... I can't even come up with one single thing that would prove what Sat1 did was for the best...

    Thank you Ami, It was a pleasure to read! :)

  • #11

    Claudia Francis (Mittwoch, 13 Juli 2011 20:07)

    Wow. Well done. Great read. You say it well. And to everyone at Jemmainternational THANK YOU for all your work. I really appreciate it.

  • #12

    UJ (Samstag, 16 Juli 2011 15:47)

    "I was heartbroken, for a long, long time. It was through this show,of all things, that I remembered what it is like to fall in love again, as I fell in love with Emma through Jenny's eyes, and with Jenny through Emma's."

    DITTO :)