Episode 17


Translated by hephylax

Edited by Sones


Hotte: First our gig tanks

Emma: Then they take the auditorium away from us.


Alexandra: So, if you all would leave. The announcement was loud enough, wasn’t it?

Bea: Well, we are no cheerleaders but we thought it would be nice to support our volleyball team musically. Okay.


[Music – Evacuate the dance floor]

STAG performs





[Pestalozzi, teachers’ lounge]


Bea is humming and smiling while pouring herself some coffee. Alexandra comes in.

Alexandra: What was that stunt all about?!

Bea: Oh, come on. We only wanted to warm up your team a little for the shoot.

Alexandra: You and your choir boys intentionally stole our show!

Bea: That's not even possible, because we also have girls in the AG!

Alexandra: You never were funny.

Bea: The TV people know very well which story they will show, and which they won’t. So what’s the problem?

Alexandra: You are the problem. And I’m going to solve it.



[The Vogel home]


Piet is tinkering with a car bumper on the dining table.Miriam comes in.

Lara: Hey Mama.

Miriam: Hey.

Piet: I’m sorry, I know this isn’t a workbench. I’ll clean it up immediately, okay?

Miriam: And? Did you have a nice day?

Lara: Well, to say that it was extraordinary would be a bit of an exaggeration.

Miriam: Okay then, I’m going to fix us some dinner. Though I can’t promise that it’s going to be extraordinary, either.

Piet: That’s it? Just a look? I’ve been mentally preparing myself for a huge dressing down!

Miriam: As if that’s ever done anything. A new part for the bus, I assume?

Piet: Yes, but not just a new part...a very special part! (Miriam leaves the room while Piet waxes poetically about his new car part)This finish was [used] for the first time about…(He realizes that he has lost his audience)Äh well…

Lara: What’s up with her?



[Pestalozzi, teachers’ corridor]


Bea accidentally runs into Michael.

Bea: Oh, excuse me. I’m sorry.

Michael: It’s okay. I was looking for you anyway.

Bea: Have you heard about our performance?

Michael: The whole school is talking about it.

Bea: Even I was surprised by how good they were. After only two days of rehearsals too!

Michael: Humm....And one or two incidents.

Bea: Yes...has Ben apologized to you?

Michael: No, and I have no idea why he tried to attack me. Do you?

Bea: No. (Liar!)

Michael: Well, then I guess that hormones are to blame.

Bea: Uh what do you mean? (Bea, really. If someone knows about Ben and hormones, it’s you.)

Michael: Well, just that he probably wanted to prove something to someone…or to impress someone. No idea!

Bea: Are you going to report him?

Michael: No. I thought about what you said.

Bea: Good.

Michael: Now that doesn’t mean he’s been given a free pass... If the guy won’t open up during the coaching sessions then… we’ll have a problem. – and that’s where I wanted to go. (I’m wondering if the last line was scripted or a save from the actor who accidentally was about to exit in the direction he originally came from.)



[Pestalozzi, in the hallways]


Alexandra: She ruthlessly sucks up all attention. The more she gets, the more she hungers for.

Götting: Don’t you think that’s just a slight astronomical exaggeration?

Alexandra: Well, excuse me. That was a report about my volleyball team, which I organized, and not an ego booster for a squadron of chorus kids!

Götting: Now calm down. Your ball players (it *literally* translates to “BALL ARTISTS” – bwahahahahahahaha!) got more than enough attention, didn’t they?

Alexandra: Attention means nothing if you have to share it. Don't think that I haven't noticed that you are largely responsible for this disaster.

Götting: Excuse me?!?

Alexandra: Yes, you realized too late that Gabriele had become unstable again... It would have been your duty as Vice-Principal to take over!

Götting: Now take it easy. Yes, I’m good at directing teachers and students but I can’t give instructions to a TV crew.

Alexandra: Why do we always come back to the point where you tell me all the things you can’t do?

Götting: How about not putting the blame solely on me for a change? That would be great.

Alexandra: Thanks. From now on I’m just going to take care of the important stuff myself!

Götting: And what is that supposed to mean?!?

Alexandra: That you will have to look for a different date for tonight! I have more important things to do.

She leaves him standing there looking like a kicked puppy.



[The Vogel home]



Sebastian: We meet again so soon.

Miriam: Hi. Thanks.

Sebastian: Why don’t you come by the club one afternoon sometime.... I’ve got more time then. Then we could have a coffee in peace.

Miriam: Okay.

Sebastian: Alright them, I’m looking forward to it. Don’t wait too long!


Miriam: Sebastian? Hello?

Barkeeper: We’re closed.

Miriam: I’m supposed to meet Sebastian here.

Barkeeper: Ah, too late, he already left with someone else.



Miriam takes the Chulos matchbook, uses the matches to set it on fire and throws it on the garden grill to burn to ashes. Piet comes in.

Piet: What’s going on?

Miriam: Nothing. Dinner will be ready soon. You can set the table if you’d like.



[Pestalozzi, Götting’s office]


Alexandraenters her vacant second home and appropriates the phone of her lover to set up a date with the TV editor. (That’s tacky. Couldn’t she have at least used her own phone?)

TV Editor: Hase.

Alexandra: Alexandra Lohmann here. Hello.

TV Editor: Ms. Lohmann, it’s nice to hear from you.

Alexandra: I hope that I’m not interrupting you while you’re working on an exposé.

TV Editor: I wish that were the case.

Alexandra: I thought a man like you would always have one thing or another to uncover.

TV Editor: Well, we are following a few leads but… What can I do for you?

Alexandra: Maybe we could talk about that tonight over a glass of wine.

TV Editor: That sounds rather fascinating … in every sense.

Alexandra: 7:30? At the Hoff? (The Hoff?!?! Does this mean that Saal1 and Chulos aren’t the ONLY games in town!?!??)

TV Editor: Okay.

Alexandra: Tell me, has our TV report been finished, yet?

TV Editor: The rough draft is, at least.

Alexandra: Oh, could you maybe bring it with you? I’d love to see it.

TV Editor: I believe that could be arranged.

Alexandra: Great. I’m looking forward to it. See you later.

TV Editor: Later.


[Music: Missy Elliot - "Work it"]



[The Vogel home]


They are eating dinner.

Piet: Thanks. The new dress looks pretty. Really, really great. Beautiful.

Miriam: Thanks.

Piet: As far as I’m concerned, you can wear it every day. Really, beautiful.

Miriam: You probably wouldn’t even notice... this dress isn’t even new, it’s two years old!

She gets up and leaves the room.

Piet: What’s gotten into her?

Lara: How should I know? You’re the one that’s married to her.

Piet: Yes…that doesn’t mean anything.

Lara: Well, if that’s the case then it makes no sense to be married, right?

Piet: No. Being married is cool. And small quarrels are just part of it.

Lara: You should read this... Ten Reasons Married Couples Fight: Does she hate him because he is neglecting her?

Piet: Pfff...no...no. Why is stuff like that published in women’s magazines and not in men’s, huh?

Lara:Humm... Maybe because you prefer reading about supermodels and cars? Which you can’t afford anyway...

Piet: Now don’t get cute.

Lara: Then buy her some flowers, or something that sparkles. Something that she can put on her finger. There are thousands of ideas in here.

Piet: Yes, thousands of ideas of thousands of sparkling things that cost thousands of Euros. No...No...No... This is the real world and I don’t believe that some magazine chicks have any idea about that.



[Pestalozzi, hallway]


Ben: Hey! I just heard about our victory. Cool idea, this surprise appearance.

Bea: Our victory?!

Ben: Sure. I’m a full-fledged member of the STAG.

Bea: For now.

Ben: You’re throwing me out?! Even though Heisig didn’t report me!?!

Bea: What did you expect? Everything always ran a lot smoother without you. No trouble...no fights...

Ben: You told me not to be so self-serving, and that’s what I’m doing now. No solo act, but together with the others!

Bea: You don’t care about the music.

Ben: How would you know that?

Bea: Because I (know) you (Du)…because I know you (Sie) by now. (They are often jumping between “Du” and “Sie” but it would be too much to always translate that in some way. But it could be the reason for the inexplicable warning glances Bea gives Ben at school which you’ve been puzzling over this whole time while analyzing the fascinating and ground-breaking Bean relationship.) You will say anything as long as it’s useful to you. And also? Mr. Heisig is still waiting for you to open up more in the coaching sessions.

Ben: I’m supposed to open up more? I’m really supposed to tell him everything?

Bea: No Ben, not everything! But you could apologize to him, for starters. And you could talk to him about your general situation.

Ben: Please. The singing and dancing club has become really important to me. I’m not that bad, am I? Also, you haven’t even seen me dance yet. (So many possible comments, so little enthusiasm for Bean innuendo)

Bea: You’re really serious? (He nods.)You have ONE chance (That’s one too many.)


[Music: Eminem ft. Rihanna - "Love the way you lie"]



[Pestalozzi, in front of the lockers]


Timo: I really thought she was going to kick you out so fast.

Luzi: Me too.

Ben: Oh, I’m really sorry that I caused so much trouble for you.

Luzi: Oh nonsense, and anyway...having a pianist in the group isn't a bad thing at all.

Caro: Hey, morons! Have you already yodelled today?

Timo: No. But we are going to do that in a little while, on TV.

Caro: Who do you think you are anyway? Pushing yourselves into the spotlight...with your self-help group for complete losers! (Oh, I didn’t know that that was already an established concept when Caro joined STAG. Cool.)

Ben: Don’t panic, Caro. I’m pretty sure that they amount of time that the TV station devotes to the ‘complete losers’ and to the ‘super-heroes’ will be relatively equal.

Caro: I don’t really care how much time the losers get, but if our team has even one second less screen time on that TV report, I’m going to puke into their piano. (And Caro, lines like this are the reason I love ya.)



[Pestalozzi, teachers’ lounge]


Everybody’s watching TV.


TV-Narrator: And those were the images of the volleyball team.

Michael: Then you guys should be coming on now.

TV-Narrator: And now here with me, the vice-principal of the Pestalozzi school: Julian Götting. Herr Götting, how would you describe the current development of the school?

TV-Götting: Please allow me to start by conveying the best wishes of our principal, Frau Krawczyk. Unfortunately she is once again indisposed and sends her regrets. Our school is outstanding at sports…

Alexandra comes up to Götting, grinning.

Alexandra: Well, Mr. TV star?

Götting: What’s up with you?

TV-Götting: Under coach Alexandra Lohmann… I have seen it myself...

Alexandra: You’ll soon find out. You can thank me later.

TV-Götting: …the beach volleyball team is our pride and joy. One can’t thank Frau Lohmann enough for…

Frau Krawczyk realizes what’s going on and stands up and leaves. Bea and Michael get it as well. Götting and Alexandra smirk.

TV-Narrator: And you can really see how proud Herr Götting is. He emphasized again and again how important it is for him as Vice-Principal to use all of his power to help the School get ahead…


[Pestalozzi, students’ lounge]


Caro and Sophie are sitting on the sofa and are watching the report on a laptop. Several other students are looking over their shoulders.

TV-Narrator: And full of power is also Caro Eichkamp. (Well, she’s full of something.)A member of the highly praised Beach Volleyball team. And now we say goodbye to the Pestalozzi School with these images of her playing. Until next time!

Caro: Sophie, we were on TV. And I was afraid that those morons would dominate the report.

Sophie: Ach...they weren't trying to steal our show, they only wanted to show that they have talent too.

Caro: What’s up with you? Have you suddenly developed a Robin Hood complex, or something? When in doubt for the poor and weak?!

Sophie: No, I'm just fed up with this constant fighting between the Volleyball Team and the Music Club. (Well Sophie, you and the rest of us will have to wait until true love finally bridges the rivalry between the two clubs in the form of Jemma.)

Caro: Life is one big fight. It’s better to be standing on the stairs than under them, meaning better to be on TV than not. Do you want me to draw you a chart?

Sophie: No, I think I get it now. Thanks.

Caro: Good, then everything is clear.



[Pestalozzi, teachers’ lounge]


Michael: That was it?

Bea: It looks that way.

Teacher(to Götting/Alexandra): Great report!

Michael: That...He can’t do that, this TV guy, what’s his name again?

Bea: Haase.

Michael: This Haase or whatever. (Why whatever? Bea just told you.)I mean, we got the toad collecting by the environmental group, we got lots of Götting, lots of volleyball ...but hardly anything about you!

Bea: Well, it seems Haase (Hase=bunny) made himself comfortable in the nest.

Michael: You think that our esteemed colleague Lohmann…

Bea: “Sweet-talked” him into it? Yes.

Michael: I understand. That’s how the Hase/bunny runs. (a saying meaning: so that’s how it is. The writers really loved their animal last names).

Bea: Fuck.



[The Vogel home]


[Music: Alicia Keys - "Distance and Time"]


Miriam is doing housework, Piet is working on his Bulli in the garage. He calls Miriam on the phone.

Miriam: Hello?

Piet: Well...will you please come to the garage as soon as possible? I have a surprise for you.

Miriam: Okay.

Piet: Hm. Bye.


[The Vogel garage]

Piet: Hey, there you are, finally.

Miriam: Here I am. And I’m very curious.

Piet: Well, come on. Come. Okay, ready? (He pulls away a blanket covering the front bumper of the car)Tada! (Piet’s got nothing on Emma. Excuse me while I’m once again stuck on 225)So?

Miriam: So?

Piet: The bumper.

Miriam: The bumper?

Piet: Yes, well...not just the bumper, but the whole thing. Isn't it incredible?!?

Miriam: You know what I find incredible?

Piet: What?

Miriam: That you told me to come here for this.

Piet: I...I am working on our dream with every free moment I have.

Miriam: On our dream?

Piet: Miriam, don't you remember? The big secret plan? We just let ourselves drift along....we wanted to see the world...we just start driving....complete freedom!

Miriam: Without an engine?

Piet: Well, that’s no big deal for me. I’ll just heave it in there....It’s not a problem. I just wanted to show you that I’m trying really hard, you know. And that I’m doing it for you.

Miriam: Good god, Piet! I’m not interested in bumpers and seat covers at all! I want to experience something, something real....that...that will make me feel like I am still alive. To get out of this rut and this whole everyday-life that we've fallen into!

Piet: Yes but, I want that too! I...I really understand you...

Miriam: You understand nothing.



[Pestalozzi, teachers’ corridor]


Ben(to a teacher): Hello.

Caro: Ben?

Ben: Look here. Caro Eichkamp, the promising high-performance winner!. Don’t you have to be somewhere giving an interview about how life as a superstar feels like?

Caro: Certainly. But I do have time for something else.

Ben: Too bad. I have to go and prepare for the next song that we'll be performing in your honor.

Caro: Oh boy, I’m sorry about that.

Ben: About what exactly?

Caro: Well, the line about puking into the piano, this morning. And that the singing and jumping club was hardly shown in the TV report.

Ben: Hardly?

Caro: Well, it was mentioned by name together with the chess club. What's it matter, you aren't really a part of them anyway.

Ben: You mean part of the losers, I assume.

Caro: We were both born alpha dogs and we enjoy that.

Ben: The only thing I’m going to enjoy is a perfect villa on the Great Barrier Reef. Nothing else.

Caro: I would love to go there too, sometime. What’s it like?

Ben: If you are lucky it’s quite, and you are all alone. Well, I have to go in there now, I’ve got something to take care of. Bye.

He enters theteachers’ lounge

Bea: That’s the revenge for our performance.

Michael: Probably.

Bea: Ben? What are you doing here? You do know that this is a teachers’ lounge and that it’s restricted for students?

Michael: But since you are here now, anyway…what can we do for you?

Ben: You could take my confession, for instance.

He laughs a little until he sees the disapproving faces of Bea and Michael.

Ben: Ähm, I mean…I’m here to talk to you openly and honestly. Because I have realized my mistakes and I wanted to apologize to you. I’ve just had loads of stress in the last few days and … things with Caro Eichkamp just don’t work. And so I blew off steam, and now I wanted to apologize. Plus, there’s the matter with my father…

Michael: Äh, you don’t have to discuss everything here right now. First off, I accept your apology, of course. (They shake hands.)And then, it would be good if you could save your new and open manner for our next counselling session because unfortunately, I have to go now. See you.

Bea: See you.

He leaves. (And if Michael wouldn’t have a private life and would only be a teacher on this show, he would really be one of my favourites.He is a great and very sympathetic teacher. Unfortunately being a teacher takes up only a small part of his screen time.)

Bea: That was a start, but it wasn’t quite honest.

Ben: Am I supposed to be honest? You wouldn’t believe how much I’d like to be honest for once. You told me to pull myself together, to see you only as my teacher, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do now. And still, I have the feeling that it’s all a damn lie.

Bea: Aren’t you exaggerating a little?

Ben: Ach! Not at all! Why did I almost start a fight with Michael? Why am I now standing here apologizing? Why don’t I give a damn about Caro and why did I join the ST…

Another teacher comes in.

Bea: Mr. Bergmann? Let’s discuss this another time, okay?

They leave the teachers’ lounge.

Ben: Bea. I love you. I love your lips, your character, your body. I …I just can’t get what happened between us out of my mind.

Bea: Ben! Is that the only reason you joined the AG?

Ben: No but…what was I supposed to do? You aren’t my teacher, you are the woman I want to be with. (One does not automatically exclude the other)

Bea: Ben.

Ben: Don’t try to tell me that you didn’t feel the same way I did during our last kiss. I love you.

Bea: Ben. All this…this....all this is crazy!

Ben: Then I’m crazy. But how is it possible for you to stay so…rational? (Ten years more life and love experience?)

Bea: If you’re not careful, you are really going to get expelled from school.

Ben: There are times I think that would be the best thing that could happen. Suppose I wasn’t your student anymore. Would you be with me then?